The Married Feminist this week: What We Women Really Need in a Marriage is a Wife!

All the married ladies in the house, I have a simple question for you. In your marriage, who is the one in-charge of maintaining a social life, keeping up social interaction with friends and family and making sure birthdays are remembered, festive greetings are dispensed and keeping track of the developments of the lives of near and dear. Ah, now that we are clear that the ladies are in a majority on this one, it might as well be an acknowledged fact that women are the ones in a marriage who take on the bulk of the emotional labour.

themarriedfeminist

We’re the ones saddled with the listening, caring, organising, coordinating, and all the drama that accompanies this job function. It must be so nice to sit with one’s feet up, and let the drama unfold around one and be completely detached from all of it.

While the male partner in a marriage (I write primarily from the heterosexual perspective of a marriage, for the simple reason that this is my personal experience), might be great at managing the kids in their extracurricular sporting activities, or helping with the groceries, etc, it is the little nitty-gritty that goes into managing the day-to-day that they seem glaringly oblivious too. The keeping in touch with family, remembering birthdays and anniversaries, all the coordination of pick up and drop, school PTAs, play dates and what have yours invariably is hefted onto the daily schedule of the wife. As a friend said wryly the other day, as she juggled between two children to be picked and dropped to different sporting activities and dinner to be made, groceries to be shopped for, and more, “What I really need is a wife.”

Read the rest here.

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In the India Today Woman: Embrace your sexuality

Why women need to shed their inhibitions and come out of the sexual shell in order to be liberated.

Kiran Manral

Author, Mumbai

Of all the disservices that we women do to ourselves, the most common is that we do not consider ourselves sexual creatures. Blame it on the conditioning we’ve been slapped with all through our growing years and add to it the Madonna-whore dichotomy that the patriarchy imposes on us. The fear of being judged for being sexual creatures makes most women play down their sexual selves and desires.

On CJP.org: Feminism and the Rights of the Indian HomemakerWithin the Home, Her Rights are a Work in Progress

25, Nov 2017 | Kiran Manral

#feminism #home-makers #patriarchy | join us

Feminism has had its own journey across the Indian subcontinent and touched different women differently. In this exclusive blog, author Kiran Manral examines the evolution of feminism and its impact on the Indian homemaker.

 

The feminist movement, a movement for the equality of genders in all aspects, is not new to India. In fact, the first phase of the feminist movement in our country began in the mid eighteenth century when voices began to speak out against the barbaric practice of Sati, followed by the initiation of women into the freedom movement, and interestingly, seeing the participation of women not just in the non violent movement but also in the combat positions with the Rani of Jhansi regiment in the Indian National Army. This was followed by the post independence movement, which sought to give women the right to equal wages for equal work, right to education, equal political rights, as well as the right to inheritance and property amongst others.

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An interview on the ProEves site

Mommy Blogger, Author and Speaker – This mom is an inspiration to us

Let’s hear from Kiran Manral who published her first book, The Reluctant Detective in 2011. Since then, she has published eight books across genres till date. Her books include romance and chicklit with Once Upon A Crush (2014), All Aboard (2015), Saving Maya (2017); horror with The Face at the Window (2016) and nonfiction with Karmic Kids (2015), A Boy’s Guide to Growing Up (2016) and True Love Stories (2017).

Her short stories have been published on Juggernaut, in magazines like Verve and Cosmopolitan, and have been part of anthologies like Chicken Soup for the Soul, Have a Safe Journey (2017) and Boo (2017). Her articles and columns have appeared in the Times of India, Tehelka, DNA, Yowoto, Shethepeople, TheDailyO, Scroll, Buzzfee, New Woman, Femina, Verve, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Conde Nast Traveller, DB Post, The Telegraph, the Asian Age, iDiva, People, Sakal Times and more. She was shortlisted for the Femina Women Awards 2017 for Literary Contribution. She is a TEDx speaker and a mentor with Vital Voices Global Mentoring Walk 2017.

Read the rest here.

Bombaywaali with Pooja Shetty Deora

Founder of Imagica and Director of Adlabs Entertainment Limited spoke to SheThePeople.TV’s Ideas editor, Kiran Manral, at this month’s edition of Bombaywaali. Deora has set up India’s first IMAX, its first theme park IMAGICA, and has produced various movies like ‘Tere Bin Laden’ and ‘Rita’.

 

On starting IMAX

My father was a technical science-related business, and I realised it is not for me. They have 90 per cent market share, what will I do? Can I do something else? I always wondered.

Six months before I graduated, my father said that he wanted to set up the first IMAX experience in India. He asked me if I wanted to join, and I said of course. My father had done the ground work in terms of identifying the land, we came in at the finishing stages. My father is good at the big picture, the smaller aspects and building the organisation. Hiring people was left to us. It was a great learning experience. I had a similar experience with IMAGICA, where I had more responsibility.

 

Read the rest here

In Scroll: ‘Why I’m not ashamed to be called a chick lit author (and you shouldn’t be either)’

Author Kiran Manral writes about why she decided to embrace the much-maligned genre.

My very first published book, I must confess, had a green stiletto on a pink cover. My second had a lipstick and a heart. The third had a girl in a bikini. I was, to my consternation and confusion, turning into that terrifyingly “puerile” creature – a “chick lit” author.

This rather tarnished position of the chick lit author really hit home when, at an august gathering, I was asked what I write, in much the same tone as one might ask a sufferer whether they were the carriers of a life-threatening infectious disease. A helpful soul in the immediate vicinity contributed, rather loudly at that, “chick lit.”

There was a perceptible freeze in the atmosphere. Folks edged away from me like they might from someone who had just removed the machete she carried around in her oversized handbag for moments like these. A brown tan hobo, if you must know, with wonderful grainy leather. The hand bag. We chick lit authors remember these details.

Read the rest of the article here.

The Married Feminist this week: Behind Closed Doors–Secret Superstar & Growing up with domestic violence

“The consternation and horror on his face grew. “Insu’s father was an engineer and still he was beating her mother. Even after being educated?”

It was a question I had no answer to. I could tell him about a friend who was beaten up so badly by her husband that her hand was fractured, and she had bruises all over her body. He bashed her head against the shower head and caused her a concussion. This was a man with an MBA from the US and in a very senior position in a financial firm. I could tell him about the professor in my neighbourhood, while I was growing up, a professor in a reputed college who ended his day on a regular basis beating up his wife while the neighbours who initially intervened, slowly gave up. I could tell him about a dear friend, well educated, highly placed, very beautiful, who wore thick concealer and dark glasses approximately once a month to work to hide the bruises her suspicious husband gave her in his drunken fits. I could tell him about a school friend who left her marital home overnight after her husband flogged her black and blue with his belt. She took nothing with her, just the clothes on her back, and her three month old in her arms. Her husband, third generation business family.

themarriedfeminist

It happens, I had to tell him, across the uneducated and the educated. That degrees were no indication that a man would not raise his hand on a woman, especially given the sense of entitlement that centuries of patriarchy had infused in him. Insiya’s father was not the only one. Behind closed doors, there were many more engineer sahebs who considered it their birthright to beat up their wives for misdemeanors as  minor as not switching a geyser on, or not putting enough salt in the food cooked.

Perhaps the most telling part in the movie was when Insiya told her mother that staying on would result in nothing but her younger brother Guddu growing up to be a fractional bit better than his father. The cycle of abuse would continue. This statement brought to mind a horrifying statistic that had been haunting me ever since I read it. In 2012, UNICEF released a Global Report Card on Adolescents. In it, were the shocking statistics that 57% of boys and 53% of girls in India think a husband is justified in hitting or beating his wife.The report also stated, “Available data for developing countries show that nearly 50% of girls and women aged 15-49 believe that wife beating is justified… girls aged between 15 and 19 years hold the same views as women in the 45-49 age group.”

Read the entire article here

#Bombaywaali with Malishka

A fabulous evening with Malishka, live wire, girl of the moment, brave heart and inspirational woman, for SheThePeople.tv’s Bombaywaali this month, on Friday, Oct 27th at Title Waves Bandra. She sang, she made us laugh, and she gave us some excellent life lessons. For the video, check out the SheThePeople.tv FB page.  Some pictures from the evening here.

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