Check out the episode here
Music Then And Music Now
The one where I mistook Wiz Khalifa for Burj Khalifa
The child is segueing swiftly into a manling. The shoulders are broadening, the hips are narrowing down, the puppy fat has made its way into the land of distant childhood memories and the jawline is getting into the defined realm territory which will be mandatory in the future if he needs to be granite-jawed in the way the romance novels state a respectable romantic hero should be. But I digress.
The fact of the matter is that he is changing. A slight shadow on his upper lip has him scurrying to experiment with his father’s razor behind a locked bathroom door emerging suspiciously fuzz free and angelic, denying all wrongdoing vehemently until I pop into the bathroom and discover traces of foam drying awkwardly in the washbasin. He checks himself out in the mirror one gazillion times a day and constantly eyes the marks on the wall put to measure his progress upwards in centimetres in the vain hope that he would have suddenly sprouted a couple of additional inches after a night of deep sleep. He has also, heaven save the world, been caught flexing a fledgling bicep and admiring it in the mirror.
This advance into potential teendom has not gone unnoticed. Along with it comes the gut wrenchingly horrifying realisation that as a parent you automatically don’t quite cut it in the coolness quotient. And nowhere is this more evident as in the case of music. The boy is listening to more music than should be considered legit. But then legit is a debatable point, given that there is only so much world and time a young boy in secondary school and a competitive sport can free up to devote to the act of listening to music.
Very often, I find him singing lyrics which, in gentler times, would have had me scour his mouth out with toilet cleaner. “Mamma,” he will squawk, much offended when I raise angry objection, “Bud dat’s d song, I’m only singing the song.” I sigh and retreat. This is karmic butt bite for when I publically embarrassed the mater by singing George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex,” in tones loud enough to have the dead wake up from their graves from the neighbourhood cemetery, and the neighbourhood aunties purse their lips disapprovingly.
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Of The Summer Crop
The one when the brat had to get a haircut…
The offspring had a haircut last week. Now why is this momentous, you might ask validly? After all, in the 11 years that he has been on this planet as a part of the race, he has contributed on a bimonthly basis to the flotsam of the snipped hair on assorted salon and barber shop floors.
But this was a haircut with a difference. For one, this was one in which he was accompanied by the pater. For another, it is the summer upon us. Let’s put things in perspective here. For years and years, I have been the sole adult responsible for the grooming of this child, and I am an indulgent parent. I allow him to sit in the barber’s chair, the cape snugly around him, dictating terms to the person in charge of shearing him to presentable in public levels. “Cud liddle frum d side and liddle frum the top and keep dis part longly.”
This often has had the unhappy consequence of him emerging from the salon with his hair gelled to gravity defying levels in a vain attempt to make himself look taller, never mind that I look at him and wonder if I should have just thrown the money I spent into the waste paper basket given that barely a millimetre seems to have been reduced from the circumference of his foliage.
Read the rest here.
Getting a pet. My Parle G Parent Quotient post this week.
The occasional whine in the household is that of getting a dog. Thankfully, this has replaced the incessant whine of wanting a sibling, and this is something I can deal with.
I’ve realised that the offspring hasn’t really realised the actual nitty gritty involved in keeping a pet which means training and twice a day walks and taking care of the pet as one would take care of a baby. I’ve so far stayed unswayed by the constant pleas of “Please please please, can I have a dog, I will take care of it, I will give it a bath and take it for a walk and give it food, please please, please.”
As any sensible parent knows, keeping a pet will never be the child’s responsibility but will ultimately be the parent’s responsibility. But I also know that there are pros to having a pet in the house
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Madhuri Banerjee and I first connected on twitter and met at a panel discussion at the Wassap Andheri in 2012. She’s one of those wonderful people who immediately light up a room when they enter, lovely, articulate and very warm. She’s also the best selling author of five books. Her latest, released in March 2015 is called My Clingy Girlfriend and is written from the point of view of the male protagonist, I have a signed copy by my bedside I’ve been reserving to read once the dratted final exams (the offspring’s, not mine) get done with and I am sure, as with all her other books, this one will be as enjoyable.
Here’s a bit about Madhuri.
Her debut novel Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas sold over 40,000 copies.
She followed it with a sequel called Mistakes Like Love And Sex. She also has a romantic college story in Advantage Love. And her last release Scandalous Housewives is the first installment in the sizzling new series that explores the psyche of unsung housewives in urban India who want more from life and will go to any lengths to realize their deepest, darkest desires.
She has also worked with actress Karishma Kapoor on a non-fiction book called The Yummy Mummy Guide. She has two more books releasing this year and is currently working on television shows and a new film script.
She is also the writer of the successful Bollywood film, Hate Story 2.
Here is a short Q&A with Madhuri about writing
What are your earliest memories of ‘writing’ something? How did you know you were meant to be a writer? I started writing diaries as early as eight or nine years old. I used to write about the places my family travelled and what I felt on a daily basis. And soon enough it went from “Angry at Ani (my brother) for dropping my book into the water” to something more meaningful and introspective. So it was a calling that I didn’t recognise for a long time because I just thought it was a hobby.
What kind of a writer are you? Do you plot assiduously, or do you let the story flow organically?
I have an idea and then write out the main character’s traits. After that I let the story and plot flow organically.
What is your writing routine like? Any rituals, habits, quirks?
I wish I was more disciplined but I’m not. If there is a luncheon to attend with my girlfriends, I will happily let go of writing for that day and take off to chit chat. I call it “research” because I am inspired by their stories and lives and ask them probing questions about sex. It all goes into my books and columns somewhere. But I do write like a mad person for days and nights when I’m possessed with an idea and the story haunts me till the words come out on a document. In retrospect I think I need more balance!
Your writing influences–authors, poets, artists, any people, and anything you turn to, you draw upon for inspiration?
I’m inspired by good writing really, not just a person or book. It’s not that I take someone else’s story and adapt it to my own. Or I want to be like anyone else. When I read a book or a poem, I need to be moved. I need to feel something. And that’s what I take for my writing. I want my writing – columns, books and blogs to make people feel, cry, love, smile, laugh, think, inspire and awaken. That’s what fulfills me as a writer.
You do have a hectic schedule–plus you are a mom. Are there days when you are overwhelmed, unable to write? How do you deal with them?
Absolutely. I sit and drink! #mommyneedswine
Do you agree that discipline is an essential part of the writing arsenal? How important is writing discipline to you?
I try to have discipline but it never works with an exact time schedule with a child, managing a house and multiple projects. If a meeting comes up, I need to abandon my writing at the time and go. If my child demands more attention from me that day, then I need to put my writing on hold till she sleeps. But I do try to finish everything before a deadline and I’m always prepared for far more than what is expected of me. It’s probably because I’m always thinking of the larger picture.
What kind of reads are your favourites? Books you turn to over and over again.
I love reading Elif Shafak, Jhumpa Lahiri, Agatha Christie, Murakami. But I also love Chick Lit. It’s my comfort food for the soul. A good romance with interesting characters and a different plot always makes me happy. And it’s not too taxing on the brain while I’m working on my own novel.
We’ve discussed this at aPaulogy, but a recap for my blog readers, what is your opinion on the slotting that gender automatically seems to assign to an author?
It’s sad really but Indian women writers are slotted into these categories
a) She’s a woman, she must only write about romance and that’s sooo boring!
b) She’s Indian so what does she know about how to write in English? Also she’ll keep everything in the Indian context while I’m more of an international reader you see.
c) She’s not popular so I don’t know how her books will be.
d) She’s popular so she must have really bad writing!
It’s strange that men will not pick up women authors. I recently released my 6th novel My Clingy Girlfriend which is a novel from a man’s point of view about relationships. Men can’t believe I can write so well. But they’ve not read my previous works to realise that I have always tried to exceed myself in my writing and do something different with every book! One gentleman on Facebook said, “It constantly amazes me how you have effortlessly crossed over to the men’s side and deliver such finessed nuance that is so unerringly masculine in its genesis… Kudos Madhuri Banerjee”
How difficult was it to write in the male voice for this book? How did you get into the skin of the character? My Clingy Girlfriend has been the easiest novel I wrote! I wrote it in a month, after spending a few months figuring out what I wanted from the novel. When I started writing, the words just flowed. I guess while I was “researching” I was so in the head of men that it became easy to see their point of view. And I loved writing Radha. She was me in an extreme form.
And finally what writing advice would you give aspiring authors?
Find your unique voice. Don’t go with the flow. Be better.
You can buy My Clingy Girlfriend here: http://goo.gl/VwPjmN
Other Books by Madhuri Banerjee
Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas – http://goo.gl/9mID7O
Mistakes Like Love And Sex – http://goo.gl/fs7KUP
Advantage Love – http://goo.gl/LJyJsT
Scandalous Housewives – http://goo.gl/VUCLNr
A slight change in the giveaway as requested by Madhuri. Answer the two questions below and you could win a special gift from Madhuri.
1] Where does Obrokranti go to eat on Karwa Chauth?
2] What is Obrokranti’s best friend/colleague’s name?
The correct answers to these questions must be posted in the comments section and Madhuri will pick out two winners. Contest on till May 10th. Madhuri’s decision will be final.
Power Women Who Write, an event that was held at aPaulogy Mumbai on March 20th, 2015 brought together six powerful women writers to celebrate their writings through book readings and audience interaction. They also discussed and opined on the future of Indian writing as well as the publishing industry at large. Morsels & Juices had the rare privilege to conduct a Q&A session with these brilliant and gorgeous authors. We thank Kiran Manral, Madhuri Banerjee, Meghna Pant, Parul Sharma, Aastha Atray and Anjali Kirpalani for taking our questions.
M&J: Amitav Ghosh once remarked, today a woman writing is a woman fighting. For truth, for honesty, freedom, even if not for equality.
As a woman and most importantly as a writer, do you ever feel burdened to deconstruct conventional “stereotypes” through your writing? What is your opinion on the above comment made by Mr. Ghosh?
Anjali Kirpalani: Definitely! I think I speak for every woman when I say that we hate gender stereotypes. I hate the perception that many men have-that women can’t be funny. It downright pisses me off! My novels are chick-lit novels but I don’t do sappy. Although romance plays a key role in my novels, I ensure that it is realistic romance. I bear in mind that we’re in 2015 and relationships today are much more complicated than they were say, 20 years ago. So I try and reflect the times we live in through my writing. And humour plays a very important role in both my life and my writing. So when men assume that my novels will be mushy and my female protagonists ‘girly’, I cannot stand it!
I received a lot of praise for the protagonist Nikita in my début novel, Never Say Never. So I gladly deconstruct conventional stereotypes through my writing. And I do it because I enjoy it. I never feel ‘burdened’ that I have to do it. I do agree with Amitav Ghosh’s statement. The fact is that we live in a patriarchal society. Whenever a woman achieves something, men like to believe that she got where she is because she’s the fairer sex. The reality is that women usually work harder than men to achieve their goals. And what’s surprising is the number of educated men that are sexist. We see it all the time in the workplace. And the world of writing is no different. There are still men who prefer reading books by male authors. And so, what we need right now are more women writers and their unique voices and stories. Which, thankfully, is happening. And that’s what this event ‘Power Women who Write’ is celebrating.
Madhuri Banerjee: No, I don’t feel the need to do anything like that. I just empower my women protagonists. I write complex characters and tell a good story. I leave it to the readers to do the rest. I do wish the Indian readers would pick up more women writer’s books and read them. Women are definitely trying to break boundaries, try different genres, and explore new territories whereas the Indian male commercial fiction authors are writing the same genre they know for years.
Kiran Manral: A woman writing was always a woman fighting. Not just today, not just yesterday, but also tomorrow, the day after and until the end of time. From the time women wrote under male aliases, till the current age where women writers are slotted as chicklit, there is always a battle–and the battle might not always be as lofty as one for truth, honesty, freedom and equality as the good Mr Ghosh says. It might just be the small, very real battle of just needing to be heard out.
I don’t feel burdened by anything when I set out to write, except perhaps the weight of my own expectations and the fact that the novel in my head will always be, as a wiser author once said, always much more beautiful than the one I finally end up with.
Parul Sharma: I am always a little uncomfortable making a comment on behalf of half of the human population. So I will speak for myself. I think writers write for one reason alone – they have something to say and they fear that something terrible will happen if they don’t say it. I wrote and still write for this reason. The writing process for me is infinitely personal – it is not me versus the rest of the world. I am trying to make sense of the world, confused and bewildered as I am by it and my chosen tool is humour.
In all honesty, I don’t know if I am deconstructing stereotypes or pandering to them. My heroines have all been urban, well-educated women with a post-graduate degree or two, in love with men who treat them as equals – maybe my stereotypes are more modern but that doesn’t make them any less truthful.
As for honesty, I think there is no other way to write. We are scornful of bad language, of sentences not constructed prettily, of characters that are cold and inspire nothing – and yet, all of these are more acceptable than being dishonest in one’s work, of not saying what needs to be said.
I don’t think I am writing to gain equality. I am equal. Have people trying to bully me around, put me into comfortable, little-woman brackets? Oh yes. But damned if I am going to let someone else define my boundaries for me.
Meghna Pant: When my first book of short stories Happy Birthday was published by Random House India in 2013, a lot of reviewers had commended my ability to write stories from a male point of view. I found this disconcerting: why was it surprising that a female author could effectively delve into the male psyche? Were male protagonists the domain of male writers? Did literature have to be pigeonholed into female writing and male writing? Wasn’t a good story a good story regardless of whether it was written by a man or a woman?
Then I recalled VS Naipaul’s misogynistic statements in which he dismissed all writing by women because of what he viewed as female ‘sentimentality’ and ‘narrow view of the world.’ This despite the fact that the works of George Eliot and Mary Shelley have had a far more profound impact on world culture than his has. This despite Hilary Mantel, AS Byatt, Iris Murdoch, Harper Lee and Flannery O’Connor.
Sadly masculisation of literature is not a Naipaul-led phenomenon. For centuries female writers have been forced to use pen names or androgynous pseudonyms to afford them mystery and, worse, authority. Charlotte Bronte published under the pen name Currer Bell. Her sister Emily hid behind the signature Ellis Bell, whereas Mary Ann used George Elliott. Is it a mere coincidence that Harper Lee and Flannery O’Connor could well be mistaken for male names by the uninitiated? What does it tell us when the world’s most famous female author, JK Rowling, decides to publish her crime novel debut under the male pen name Robert Galbraith? Especially since Rowling has never published under her real name: the very feminine Joanne Rowling. Even the Grande Dame of erotica, the supposedly bold EL James, has not published under her real name: Erika Mitchell. Does this not serve to demonstrate the permanence of this issue?
As gender roles become less distinct, with more men in touch with their at-home sides and more women becoming action heroes, we should delight in our differences and remember that gender is a social construct. The sole purpose of literature, if it must have a purpose at all, is to transcend such fallacies and show us the world that we want to become. A story must be read not because a man or a woman writes it, but because it is written well.
With regard to Amitav Ghosh’s statement, the notion of equality is not so simplified that we can write our way out of it. Women writers can begin by writing exquisite breathtaking stories. But, as all writers know, our journey with a book doesn’t end when we finish writing it. Women writers will have to learn to fight for bigger advances, bigger royalties, premium store displays and invitation to coveted literature festivals. We will have to abandon our inherent diffidence and mainstream role-playing by marketing ourselves as aggressively as our male counterparts. Only then can we leave the world with no option but to give us our rightful place as equals.
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So, FB reminds me that my third offspring celebrates its first birthday today. Happy birthday Once Upon A Crush. Have you read it yet?
Buy it here